Time for Something New

B"H
It's 2:00 on a Friday afternoon, and I'm in Ithaca, NY. I'm still in a bit of shock. Israel seems so far away, and being here feels like a dream. My nephew whimpers and wriggles on a blanket on the floor, and my sister and brother-in-law talk quietly in the next room.
I have to pack a bag for Shabbos. We're going to Ithaca College to host a Jewish Studies Class that needs to observe a Chabad House or a Reform Temple. Talk about odd couples.
I'm nervous. My sister tells me that she and I are going to have to switch off being there, taking turns watching the baby. Wait, I say, you mean I'm going to have to be there alone? You'll be fine, she reassures me. You're in school in Israel, you're their age. They'll be so impressed.
I'm not as sure as she is. I wish I didn't have to be there alone. It's an in between place to be - with people my age, but so different. In a place where I could belong, but without the one person that I belong to. I've been secluded for seven months, in a seminary bubble. My sensitivities have been raised. Will I still able to talk to anybody, to relate?
I want to fit in, and I am different. No changing that.
This is an old struggle, one I'm familiar with. Neither here or there - I've felt like that so often. It's about time for something new.
Who am I?
I am the Rebbe's chossid. I'm a Chitrik girl. I'm a Welton. I'm a Berkeley girl. I am a writer. I am short. I'm a reader. I'm a talker. I am a believer. I'm a friend. I am a daughter, a sister, an aunt. I am Ashirah.
I am all of these things, and more. I have a power within me. The particular place I am in, the people I am with, the difficulties I have - they are all uniquely mine. They are sent to me by a Divine Hand.
So tonight, before I walk in the door of wherever I am going to be, I will close my eyes, breathe deep, and remind myself:
I am Ashirah.
And I can do this!