Thursday, February 19, 2009

Bsd


Just
     intenseness.
the whole damn week,
good and bad and thank G-d for all of it, 
i'm alive and there's so much happening
in a week that feels like a month sunday so far from monday and friday even farther away
missing people,
so happy,
hurting for friends and happy for them and myself mixed up in all kinds of lives, including my own
can't seem to catch a breath
i'm so grateful
and yet sleep (my personal Kyptonite, sleeping at all the wrong times and in the wrong places,, why is the couch always more comforting than my bed?) is so alluring.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

An Exercise

His coat flapped around his ankles as he strode down the dark street. He jiggled his keys in his hand and whistled along to the music streaming from his headphones. The walk sign flicked on as he reached the corner, but he still turned his head to look for cars coming. Even after a year and a half of living in Brooklyn, he hadn't grown accustomed to the one way streets. He liked it though. He wasn't quite sure why, but he liked living in New York. 


I'm tagging TRS to write the next paragraph. TRS, you tag someone to write the paragraph after yours. Etc, etc, until we get back to me and then we start over until we finish the story.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

That 25 Things Thingy

1. When I was 9, I was anemic. I couldn't swallow the iron pills - those things are as big as horse pills - so my mother taught me how to eat the marrow out of the bones (chicken, steak, etc). This is a habit I retain to this day, which is why when my family goes anywhere where there's steak served - I get the bone. 

2. The nickname my high school friends call me comes from the name of a character in a series of vampire romances they were reading when we met. 
3. My bottom right front tooth is chipped, because of the time I was playing with a little boy and he jumped up unexpectedly and hit the bottom of my chin with the top of his head. 
4. When  I was little, I was scared my family would die and I wouldn't have told them "I love you" before they did. Every night before I went to sleep, I would make the rounds and tell each of them "Good night and I love you". Every time someone left - "I love you". Every phone call - "I love you".  (I think this is still why I say "I love you" so often.)
5. I used to eat frozen peas as a kid, until the time I got carsick and threw peas up all over my lap. I didn't eat peas in any shape or form for years afterward.
6. Now that I've decided I won't be dating for the near future, I keep getting suggestions. 
7. I've wanted to write since I was seven years old. 
8. I'm four feet nine inches (I think). A couple of years ago, I found out that my pediatrician wanted to give me growth hormones when I was a child. My mother consulted with a family friend who was a pediatrician. She said I'd be fine. I'm just barely tall enough to ride without a booster seat in California, but I am fine. 
9. In eighth grade, I lied to my English teacher about completing an assignment because I really hated her, and I hadn't done it. She caught me, confronted me, and called my mother. That was one of the worst days of my life. 
10. I read Dickens when I was nine years old. 
11. My most vivid memory of my grandfather (my mom's dad, who died when I was in sixth grade) is his thick, white hair. 
12. My right index finger is slightly crooked. When I was eleven, I fractured it when it got slammed in a door. I was playing tug-of-war with my younger brother, because I didn't want him to come into my room.
13. I still miss my neighbor's cat, Knika. she used to sit on my lap while I read books on our front porch. 
14. My best friend in my third grade class was a boy, because he was the only one who'd climb up the metal structure and play spaceships with me. 
15. From ages 13 to 17, all my major crushes were at least 5 years older than me. That's what you get from growing up in a college town...
16. I didn't learn how to ride a bike until this past summer (and I'm still not very good).
17. I read trashy romance novels - and I love them.
18. I can paint my own nails - right AND left hands. (Guys, it's tougher than it looks).
19. When I was in middle school, I used to wake up at 6 am to get ready for school. That's how I heard about the WTC attacks - my radio alarm woke me up that morning. I didn't even know what the World Trade Center was. 
20. In 12th grade, I convinced my English principal to let the five of us who wanted a creative writing class to let us do it on our own. And we actually had class. 
21. I'm always challenging the social system that has developed in the frum world, and then encountering situations that make me realize why it's there. I still believe that things can be different - and better. 
22. I'm named after my mother's mother. My mom says I look like her. 
23. I hold my brother's hand when we walk together - even in Crown Heights. 
24. I doodle hearts and trees when I get bored. 
25. I can trace my maturing sexuality in high school by this timeline: First LOTR - I liked Elijah Wood. Second LOTR - Orlando Bloom. Third LOTR - the King himself, Viggo Mortensen. 

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

I Got Published!

Bsd

Read my genius here:

(Now if only I could have gotten paid for it...)

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

One of the Happiest Days of My LIfe

Bsd

Today has been one of the happiest days of my life. Serious, mind-bending, heart-exploding, crazy, pure joy kind of happy. Hard core happiness. 
A little background first: I grew up in Berkeley. Now, frum people rarely know where that is, but secular people know that Berkeley is the town wherein exists the University of California Berkeley aka Cal Berkeley. They also know that it is one of the most violently liberal (and I mean that in its political, not literal, sense) places in the world. Ok, that's kind of a sidetrack. Well, not really. The point is, it's a crazy place to grow up Jewish, Orthodox, and Chabad. (Awesome, and I am so moving back there if the Messiah doesn't show up before then, but crazy.) 
Growing up, there were three families. The shluchim's family, my family, and a third Lubavitch family. Three families - Ferris, Welton, Feld. 
I can't get mushy right now, because I will cry and write such cheesy stuff my brain will explode when I read it later. 
Let me just say this - these families are my family. I don't have a lot of actual blood relatives, and these people are the closest I get without actually sharing DNA. 
Now when I tell you that Rivkie Ferris is engaged to Dovid Feld, you might begin to comprehend the heart-melting, body-shaking, so pure I might OD on it kind of joy I'm feeling. 
So. So. So. So. SO. SO SO SO SO SO SO SOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSO HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There's more to the story that I am not at discretion to reveal. 
There's more going on in my life than this. 
But I want to leave this post with just this pure taste of happiness. 
(I'm going to scream like this when Moshiach comes.)

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Flying Ants (I Have Too Much To Do To Try To Make This A Chassidishe Post)

Bsd


I'm sitting on my couch, minding my own business (meaning, finding more websites about shoes to look at with yearning), when this wriggly little black bodied ant-like thing with wings lands on my roommate's laptop. 
DO YOU KNOW HOW GROSS THAT IS??
I mean, this is where I sit and eat, read, sleep, talk in my sleep, talk on the phone, write, do my nails, go on line - essentially, that couch is where I live. And now it is being invaded by this horrific flying ants. 
I eyed that little bugger with disgust and a little fear, watching as it writhed between the keys. I wondered if it would get stuck between G and H forever. Finally, finally, finally, it squirmed its' way past the Return key and I was able to blow it off the laptop and onto the table, where I smashed it with a book of Robert Frost poems. 
About five minutes later, another one landed on the pillow next to me. I noticed yet another little bastard crawling on the floor under the table. Realizing that these weren't just fluke bugs that had flown in through a briefly opened door, I looked around for the source of these monstrous creatures. 
I looked up. 
Little black dots peppered the inside of our living room light fixture. 
Little black dots that moved and fluttered. 
I'm still not sure what to do. I'm thinking of spraying Raid in the light, but I'm afraid of poisoning my roommates and myself. 
In the meantime, I'm keeping that Robert Frost book close at hand.