Tisha Bav is Over

Bsd

Why, G-d? we ask as we sit, feet dangling in cool waters underneath the summer sky. I turn my head against the sunwarmed concrete and think of mothers and fathers lost and then my mind takes a curve and I'm thinking about bad haircuts. Only yesterday we mourned and today music rings through the air filling my soul, and our voices soar in quiet demand as we ask Where are You? I have no answers to give her. I cherish my belief in contrast to her pain and also wonder if this were my life would I be as faithful as I counsel her to be? My hand lies illumined by the lamplight and black bloodsuckers flick away from my skin and her voice breaks as she cries What will I do when he is gone? I have nothing. tongue and voice are cleft. I hold her hand. What can I give you, my sister, daughter of Israel, what can I tell you, your heart will not hear it, your soul is held captive. instead I mourn with you. I will pray that we need not mourn, that we will rejoice, that all my beliefs will be proven to your medical satisfaction, that your eyes will be opened and you will be able to thank G-d for His mercy. I said to you tonight He is the bringer of your pain and He is the comforter of your soul. He is Infinite, for only one who is can be all these things. Birds fly overhead, don't they know it is night now? over the trees the moon shines brightly. You walk away, alone, and my heart beats hard, thinking of girls newly wedded who are lost, fathers who are strongholds who might one day be gone, and of my own confusion, borne of joy and folly.