Search for My Soul, Part 1

Bsd

I'm so glad I got to talk to you

You 

sparked the memories

of what I want to be

off the flint of who you are;

I was stirred into flame

by my frustration. 

How did I

let my life get here?

To this point

where the distance between my dreams

and my reality

have grown so far

I no longer even feel

a need

to bridge the gap?

I thought

I always knew who I was

I thought 

I still was that person

I think

I still am. 

But buried underneath

layers of laundry and dishes left too long

jobs proposed and left unpursued

education attempted and failed

the me I thought I was

has been crushed

Deeper and deeper

harder and harder

smaller and smaller

I can feel the lump of my soul

next to my heart

held safely between my lungs

under the protective plate

of my breastbone. 

You

added the slightest

lightest

bit of pressure.

There is something about the way you think that is just so foreign to me. 

I couldn't help 

but fight with that

even though

it was like banging

my head

against a wall. 

Again

Again

Again

until suddenly I shook 

loose

that crushed piece of myself

and it was a diamond in my hand.